On long term things

Today I went out to lunch with some people from the civil and highway group. Apparently a few of them go out to lunch every Friday. They're all pretty young and cool people. We went to a diner that had a big sign outside that said $7.50 for steak and eggs. One of the guys were really enthusiastic about this and wanted other people to order this. I think 3 or 4 of us ended up ordering this. He ordered some turkey thing himself.

Anyway, onto more important things. The guy that promoted the steak and eggs also promoted the company to me. Maybe he just likes talking.. Anyhow, apparently a lot of the interns turn full-time after they graduate. I think all but one or two of the people who went out to lunch today were former interns. There were 7 of us. One of them worked at the Honolulu office as an intern and has now been working full time at the San Francisco office for 3 months. They said that it's pretty easy if I wanted to work for another PB office. Which is one of the reasons why I really liked this company in the first place. They have offices all over the US and overseas. In Europe they have lots of UK offices, a Dubai office, and plenty of Asia offices too. It's not as easy going overseas, I don't think. Right now, I work for PB Americas.

Thinking about all of this feels really weird to me. Especially since this whole past year I've been running around and not staying at one place for less than 3 months. Everything felt (and was) so temporary. I tried to imagine myself working at the office as a full-time employee and it was just so hard. It seemed kind of boring actually. I don't know if I want to work there permanently. Actually, it's more like I can't imagine myself working anywhere permanently.

Do I want to settle down in some city, go to work everyday, come back to some apartment, cook dinner, do random stuff, shower, sleep, and then do it all again the next day? Part of it seems okay. It would be nice to work on some parts of some projects, maybe volunteer somewhere, and just be a part of some community. But I'm so afraid that I would just watch the months and years go by, never getting around to doing some things and never fully doing other things. I guess I've done a lot this past year, got a taste of being a "global citizen", and just started to realize just how small (not big) the world is. And just when I've realized that I can actually go see the 7 wonders of the world, learn about other cultures, see new things, it feels like it's all coming to an end.

I've still got a year or two before I start working as a permanent employee somewhere. But if I want, I can work for PB. I can tell them I want to keep working for them after I graduate and I would have a job, position, cubicle, computer, etc. waiting for me. And I would become like my coworkers, forever talking about that vacation where they're going to somewhere for a week. Their week-long vacations just seem so trivial and meaningless after having lived in two countries this past year. Sorry if I sound arrogant but that's just how I feel about it. These thoughts have been bothering me this whole week. I don't know... I'm secretly dreading that conversation that I'm bound to have with my supervisor at the end of the internship about whether or not I will come back the next summer. I mean, hopefully, the invitation will come. I just wish I know what my answer would be.