Stargate SG-1

Since I can't sleep and am supposed to be studying for these mock exams that the international office has so kindly put together for us, I've taken up watching lots and lots of Stargate. I've started watching this series a long time ago and now it has finally gone out of production after 10 seasons. That's right, 10 amazing seasons. Back in high school, I would just watch it whenever I can catch it on Saturday or Sunday at some inconvenient afternoon time. But I thought I'd do it right. So the summer after high school I subscribed to both Netflix and Blockbuster (one after the other of course to take advantage of their trials) and started watching the episodes in order. Now I had a job and couldn't devote the extraordinary amount of time required to finish every episode out on DVD. I was also watching MacGyver as well. I know, too much Richard Dean Anderson can't be good for anyone but I mean, it's MacGyver.

That summer I finished Season 1. MIT proved to be stressful and time consuming so I didn't get around to watching all that many episodes. However, in the past few days, I've managed to finish Season 3 and am half way through with Season 4. I really like these early episodes, before the Anubis craze. I really like Stargate because it's funny and intelligent. The team is faced with moral and ethical choices on nearly every mission. There is character development and that's important to me.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes. Some of them aren't from the early seasons but I try to pick out the best. I have no idea who would enjoy them but well, whatever. Warning, this is long

Daniel: So we'd be looking for a needle in a haystack.
Thor: A haystack of infinite size.
Daniel: That's big.

O'Neill: Do you read the Bible, Teal'c?
Teal'c: It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?
O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.

Samantha Carter: I've just never blown up a star before.
Jack O'Neill: Well, they say the first one is always the hardest.

Sam Carter: You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water.

Jack O'Neill: It's time for Plan B.
Samantha Carter: We have a Plan B?
Jack O'Neill: No, but it's time for one.

Jack O'Neill: [Stuck in a continous time loop with Teal'c] If it were just me, I'd agree, but what about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man?
[Teal'c and Hammond look at him]
Jack O'Neill: Bad Example...

Jack O'Neill: I just walked in with a handfull of ingredients for my world-famous omelette!
Sam Carter: World-famous huh? What's in it?
Jack O'Neill: Eggs.
Sam Carter: I don't think that that actually qualifies as a recipe.
Jack O'Neill: Oh don't kid yourself, there's a secret ingredient I can't tell you what it is or I'd have to shoot you.
Sam Carter: It's beer isn't it?

Jack O'Neill: He still thinks I'm a Goa'uld, right?
Sam Carter: Yeah, I think so. What are you going to do?
Jack O'Neill: Watch.
[stands up and walks toward the gate]
Jack O'Neill: Jaffa. Kree.
Major General Trofsky: [long sentence of Goa'uld vernacular]
Jack O'Neill: Uh... Didn't you hear me? I said Kree.

Teal'c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Jack O'Neill: One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
Daniel: A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.
Jack O'Neill: Never run with... scissors?

[O'Neill gets Teal'c to join him at his cabin for fishing. O'Neill sits and tells Teal'c about fishing as Teal'c stands holding his pole as he does a staff weapon]
Teal'c: There appears to be no fish here, O'Neill.
Jack O'Neill: Its not about the actual fish, themselves. Fish are not important in this context, its about FISHING, the act of fishing itself.
Teal'c: I see.
[a cell phone starts ringing]
Jack O'Neill: You didn't?
Teal'c: By request of General Hammond.
Jack O'Neill: [Answering phone as Teal'c slaps a mosquito] WHAT?... Yes Daniel, he's right here, please hold.
[O'Neill hands the phone to Teal'c]
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson... we have caught nothing, we are fishing.
[Daniel asks for a translation]
Teal'c: "Banished to oblivion."
Daniel Jackson: Thank you
Teal'c: If you require assistance, I would be more the happy to return to the SGC
[O'Neill looks annoyed]
Teal'c: Are you sure?
Jack O'Neill: [taking the phone] Good bye Daniel.
[O'Neill removes the phone battery, and throws it into the lake]

Jack O'Neill: Just give me some kind of warning.
Teal'c: I'm going to shoot you.
Jack O'Neill: I was thinking more along the lines of "On Three".

Jack O'Neill: I believe someone said "We're not gonna make it!"
Jacob Carter: Sam, let's get the hyperdrive running.
Jack O'Neill: Excuse me. I distinctly remember someone saying "We're not gonna make it!" I think we made it!
Jacob Carter: I'm sorry, I over-reacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren't gonna make it.
Jack O'Neill: Yes... well... maybe next time you'll just wait and see.
Jacob Carter: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?
Jack O'Neill: What?
Samantha Carter: [with a grin] Welcome to my life!
Jack O'Neill: What?

Daniel: Wait a minute, you're actually saying that you need someone... dumber than you are?
Jack O'Neill: You may have come to the right place.

Thor: The Asgard would never invent a weapon that propels small weights of iron and carbon alloys, by igniting a powder of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur.

Daniel: Their whole world is in flames - and we're offering them gasoline. How does that help?
Teal'c: We are in fact offering water.
Jack O'Neill: Thank you.
Daniel: I was speaking metaphorically.
Jack O'Neill: Well stop it. It's not fair to Teal'c.

Jack O'Neill: Weren't we just somewhere else?
Daniel: Where?
Jack O'Neill: Some planet.
Daniel: When?
Jack O'Neill: Just now.
Daniel: No.
Jack O'Neill: Sure?
Daniel: Yeah.

Jack O'Neill: I distinctly remember sitting here, listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a... corona... something.
Sam Carter: Coronal mass emissions - I was just about to bring it up.
Jack O'Neill: There you go, how would I know that?
Sam Carter: Maybe you read my report.
Daniel: Maybe he *read* your report?

Jack O'Neill: ...I do appreciate that you were the one to come and see if I was okay. That... that means something.
Daniel: Ah... actually, no, it doesn't.
Jack O'Neill: No?
Daniel: Um... we, ah, we drew straws. I lost.

Commander Rigar: Wormhole?
Jack O'Neill: Giant worms. Huge.

Daniel: Well, we were kind of hoping you'd "beam them out. "
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Beam them out? What am I - Scotty?

Jack O'Neill: They didn't go for it.
Sam Carter: They didn't approve the mission?
Jack O'Neill: Well no, they did THAT. Once they knew the stakes and the whole fate of the universe stuff, both the President and Hammond realized we had no choice. They wish us luck, God speed and all those things he says when he thinks we're gonna die.
Sam Carter: So what didn't they go for?
Jack O'Neill: The name I suggested.
Sam Carter: For the ship?
Jack O'Neill: Yeah.
Sam Carter: Yeah. Sir... we can't call it the "Enterprise"
Jack O'Neill: Why not?

Sam Carter: Well, if the DHD could have prevented the problem, maybe the DHD can also fix it. Is there any chance that you could get the Russians to give us their DHD?
Daniel: Not without giving back Alaska.

Jack O'Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal'c: Star Wars.
Jack O'Neill: He's seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal'c: Nine.
Jack O'Neill: Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay.
Sam Carter: You've never seen Star Wars?
Jack O'Neill: Well, you know me and sci-fi...

[Jonas is having a burger, fries, and milkshake for lunch. Sam arrives just in time to see him dunk a fry in the shake and eat it]
Sam Carter: Nice... lunch.
Jonas: mmmm. I'm really starting to enjoy this "traditional American food".
Sam Carter: We have another tradition. It's called "hardened arteries".

Jack O'Neill: It's always suicide-mission this, save-the-planet that. No one ever stops by just to say 'hi' anymore.

Teal'c: Are you able to translate any of this, Jonas Quinn?
Jonas: It's not Ancient, but it's definitely a language belonging to one of the races of the ancient alliance.
Jack O'Neill: Nox? Asgard?
Jonas: Furlings.
Jack O'Neill: Oh, no. Not those guys.
Jonas: What?
Jack O'Neill: Oh, I don't know. I just can't imagine cute little furry things making big powerful weapons, that's all.
Jonas: I don't even know what they look like.
Jack O'Neill: Furling. Sounds cute and fuzzy to me.
[Teal'c smiles]

Teal'c: [looking in O'Neill's refrigerator] Are you conducting some sort of scientific experiment, O'Neill?
Young Jack O'Neill: Hey, come on, that salsa's still good.

Jack O'Neill: I'm telling you, Teal'c. If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna' lose it.
[Teal'c does not understand and just stares at O'Neill]
Jack O'Neill: "Lose it. " It means, "Go crazy. " "Nuts. " "Insane. " "Bonzo. " "No longer in possession of one's faculties. " "Three fries short of a Happy Meal. " "Wacko. "

Jay Felger: At least my heroes exist. If this was a Trek convention you'd be all dressed up like a Klingon.
Simon Coombs: Vulcan, Felger, Vulcan.

Jack O'Neill: [talking to the Asgard High Council about the K'Tau people and their star] I'm not asking you to change the course of their development, just fix the damn sun! No one will know. We won't tell.

[Jacob/Selmak, Daniel, and Sam are on a Tok'ra scout ship, being questioned by a Goul'd mothership]
Jacob Carter/Selmak: All right, we're almost finished. Sam's just finishing up.
Daniel: Uh, that's good, 'cuz I don't think they bought my act.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Why? Who'd you say you were?
Daniel: The, uh, Great and Powerful Oz.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: SAM!

Jack O'Neill: All I'm saying, just for the record, is this is the wackiest plan we've ever come up with.
Sam Carter: Wackier than, than strapping an active Stargate to the bottom of the X-302?
Jack O'Neill: Oh yeah.
Sam Carter: Wackier than blowing up a sun?
Jack O'Neill: Yep.
Sam Carter: He's probably right.

Jack O'Neill: If we want to find out who's behind this, we have to do what the Asgard do.
Daniel: You mean bluff?
Jack O'Neill: Yep. We just need to do it without revealing what we know.
Daniel: Which is nothing.
Jack O'Neill: Right. But they don't know we know nothing.

Jack O'Neill: [after traveling to a world that looks exactly like Earth] Just when you think you're not in Kansas anymore, it turns out you are.

General George S. Hammond: [after leaving the holding room] Would anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of our most classified information?
Samantha Carter: Well, Sir, It could be him.
Daniel: There is a physical resemblance!
General George S. Hammond: [Pointing to the holding room] But, he can't be more than 15 years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has somehow regressed more than 30 years overnight?
Daniel: Stranger things have happened.
Teal'c: Name but one.
Daniel: Well, there was the time he got really old; the time he became a caveman; the time we all swapped bodies...

Martouf: If you all are sure you understand what you are volunteering for.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You said "Hell," right?
Jack O'Neill: Well, I'm gonna end up there sooner or later. Might as well check out the neighborhood, huh?